It is a very important job to select a spouse or partner for life, as it sets certain times and decides how the rest of one’s life will be lived. Many things must be taken into consideration when choosing a lifetime partner. This can include the individual’s intellectual capacity, care and behaviour, as well as when they are in common. As a big step one day could lead to a marriage or a potential union, choices on whom you should consider your partner are careful. The novel, ‘Comment preventing your affection for the jerk,’ offers a summary of what to pursue and not. It provides advice on choosing someone to live with and ensuring that the bondage has a deep affection and leads to a safe and meaningful marriage. Many people have attempted to date at some stage in life (Van, 2008).
Some people are glad while others are always hurt. In pursuit of the ‘real’ people date each other. Some find them and others aren’t on their path. This book provides guidance and guidance on how to find the right one for someone who has been dated several times, but who still doesn’t find the real one. John’s suggestion is divided into three key sections that demonstrate the link between the heart and head of a person in a book. When making choices, caution must be taken.
First John speaks about fulfilling one’s heart ‘s wishes while still caring. They tend to put their minds at ease when a person is in love. Some obvious problems are overlooked only because they are in love and want to not annoy their partner while talking about the difficulties they face. For instance, one partner can betroth, but because the other partner has strong feelings, they won’t raise the issue because they fear they will lose them (Van, 2008).
In others, the partnership is nurtured by one partner. This can be financially and in the receipt of love provided by the other spouse. Loving someone who doesn’t feel the same can lead to a difficult breakup. Love is said to be blind, and the word ‘love’ is said to be real. Every rationality seems to fade out of reality when someone is loved. Some people dream that they are loved every day and they take the opportunity, when a chance occurs.
In such situations , people ignore logic and truth, live a reasonably sleepy life and they know that they are making a major mistake sooner or later. John recommends that partners should first analyse their compatibility ability, their degree of relationship communication and how they were and benefited from their marriages, their history and their problems with their families because this is an issue of marriages. Ultimately, they should consider one another’s consciousness and all-round character (maturity).
John developed a model that is clear and very specific to people’s everyday lives, RAM (Relational Attachment Model). Before committing, John suggests to pairs that they understand their love partners. People must be well-known by their backgrounds, their families and their compatibility. If people are not compatible, this relationship is definitely the worst thing. And they’re going to finish hurt (Van, 2008).
In order to develop and sustain a relationship, people should have the requisite skills. Many times people tell their partner anything they don’t mean or have no clear meaning. All from partner to partner should be meaningful to prevent problems later. People should be able to interact meaningfully with each other, in order to prevent potential problems. It is necessary to communicate verbally and non verbally both. Matters such as faith should be an important step in a partnership.
Before getting into a relationship, an individual should be able to see that they can trust the other partner. Without trust, then the needs of both partners will not be satisfied, be it financial or emotional needs. Both partners need to know that they can depend on it other and that the feelings at both ends are mutual. Many individuals change after a certain amount of time into the relationship. Any signs that show future complications should be taken into consideration before its late (Van, 2008)
The book has insights on how to note fault in a partner while entering a relationship. Personally, the book explains relationships and how to cultivate a meaningful one once I have found a partner. From the book, I have also learnt that appearances can be deceiving, and what matters most are the feelings that both partners feel at the beginning of the relationship. Entering into a relationship because the other partner is beautiful or nice and charming does not guarantee that the relationship will last. From the book, I have learnt that relationships are supposed to be mutually responsive. Partners should communicate clearly since communication is a very important aspect in a relationship. Finding one’s soul mate is supposed to be a fulfilling and meaningful journey.
As much as one should follow his heart, one should also use their head to make certain decisions that are necessary to the relationship. Being in a relationship where only one partner contributes to the relationship will only lead to heartbreak. Relationships are not supposed to be based on financial capabilities or sex, on love, commitment and trust. These three make the foundation of any relationship strong and such a relationship withstands any forces that threaten to break individuals apart. Attention and interest attract a partner to another, but this should not be all when looking for a partner. Individuals should learn more about their partner; their dislikes, hobbies, intellectual capabilities and also their backgrounds.
- Van, E. J., & Van, E. J. (2008). How to avoid falling in love with a jerk: The foolproof way to follow your heart without losing your mind. New York: McGraw-Hill.